A satire
by Ron Ovadia | February 15, 2017
WASHINGTON D.C – White House Counsel Kellyanne Conway is stepping down from her current job and will be working directly with Ivanka Trump to promote her fashion line, sources leaked today. Conway said she did it voluntarily, though only an hour later White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer insisted the president had politely asked Conway to “get out of my face.”
“I want a job where I can be truthful at least part of the time,” said Conway, “and selling a line of clothing I adore will make that possible.”
Conway had been under fire for either misrepresenting the truth, lying unabashedly or being so uninformed she didn’t know what the hell she was saying. Whatever the case, her credibility went down the drain.
“You have no idea how hard it is lying… I mean SPEAKING… on behalf of a president who spews forth ‘fake news’ more often than he combs his hair,” she shrugged. “The straw that broke this camel’s back was having ‘Morning Joe’ host Mika Brzezinski say she would no longer book me on her show. That is so uncool.”
It was bad enough that only last month Thomas Friedman said that if he was head of Exxon Mobil and they had an oil spill off the Santa Barbara coast, Kellyanne is the one person he’d hire to “spin the story.”
Ivanka Trump said she welcomed Conway to her team, but only on the condition that Kellyanne get rid of her hideous marching band uniform.